Endless POFibilities -- April 2001

Words of Wisdom, Thoughts from the Heart
by Jackie Curtis

I asked women on our message board to give me some words of wisdom to share with everyone. Here’s what they said:

In one word, describe how you felt when you were first diagnosed? now?
THEN: Devasted
NOW: Hopeful
THEN:Shocked
NOW: Accepting
THEN: Angry
NOW: Accepting
THEN: Devestated
NOW: Nothing can stand in my way
THEN: Couldn’t believe NOW: Still looking for a way of living with POF
THEN: totally annihilated NOW: Reluctant acceptance

What do you wish someone told you when you were first diagnosed that you know now?
That POFers need continuous estrogen supplements and estrogen higher than a menopausal woman.
I wish someone would have told me my options ie)IVF, egg donor.
That I was not alone in my ordeal..and that I was going to be alright!
That having POF did not have to run my life.
"Tell me: what does it mean? how do you feel? here is my shoulders if you neeed to cry, and here are hears if you need to talk to."
That my suspicion of having POF was correct and that they would have started investigative tests sooner.

What is the hardest part about having POF?
Telling family and close friends about it.
The way it can make you feel less of a woman.
For me it was learning to stop thinking of myself as "defective" and "incomplete" because I wasn’t able to have children the "regular" way!!!!!
[It] changes depending on where I am in my life. When I was first diagnosed it was telling others about it, but now I try to educate everyone about it. Even though POF is no fun dealing with, I have learned to live with the hand I’ve been dealt. There is more to life than having POF.
The ever present feeling that I have failed my husband as a woman.
For me there are 3 things, the first 2 connected between: 1) the problem of recnonising my self, my body, my self in this body; 2) infertility. The 3rd thing is to be so lonely about it, with no friends, expecially women.
The feeling of being "abnormal" as far as fertility goes, and others not understanding what it is like.

We'd love to hear from you! Interested in sharing your thoughts for our next issue? Just submit to pofsg@yahoo.com. Submissions can be articles, poems, anything really that expresses your 'words of wisdom and thoughts from the heart".

A Tale of Two POFers