HoneyBear23's Story
August 2002

Current age: 24
Age of Diagnosis: 22

Share a brief summary about yourself, how POF changed your life.

I was raised in Minnesota USA, one of three children. The only girl in the middle of two boys! My parents will be celebrating their 27th wedding aniversary on Aug 23rd, 2002!

I'm 24 now and was Dx'd in Nov 2000. I was 22 and missed my period for the FIRST time ever(since age 13) and I thought I was pregnant, needless to say I wasn't. So while going in to see my Dr regarding birth control she mentioned that we had to wait till my next cycle came and then we'd start. Well.....it didn't. Then I told her I was having what felt like hot flashes. She looked at me funny as though I was kidding but I made it known that I was VERY serious. After suggesting that I get labs drawn, genetic testing, and other diagnostic procedures to rule out any reason I was told I have POF and there was no known medical reason that could be found as to why I had it.

When I see babies/pregnant women it used to bring a smile to my face and a mental picture of when that'll be me someday. Not anymore. Now when I see the same image it's like a slap in my face and a constant reminder of the loss in my life that will last forever. I went from wanting/expecting at least three little ones running around and the glorious news of "I'm pregnant!!" to the wonderful man in my life to yrs of "trying" at great expense with no promise of a child for me!

How did your health care provider tell you about your diagnosis?

Let's just say it was TERRIBLE! I was so devastated it remains a blur to this day. I walk in the office with my Mom and sit down. My RE is there along with another MD Resident. My RE goes right into the speel on POF and what drugs I'd have to start taking, virtually no chance of conceiving on my own, bone loss....the list goes on and on.

But remember now, I had NO IDEA I had POF, was never mentioned this probability, etc. This was the ultimate mind & body numbing experience I've ever had. I just nodded my head like I understood but in truthfulness I was so blown away by this FAILURE that I couldn't comprehend not having the 3 or 4 children I've always dreamed about. The news of the drugs I'd have to be on was on the 'back burner' as I just couldn't get past the no children aspect of it.

My RE was so blatant and 'cold' feeling regarding this she never even asked me how I was doing regarding just hearing this news. The next time I saw her about a month later I stated that I was having a very difficult time regarding my POF. She said "With taking all the meds?". I said "No, with the news of my INFERTILITY, and seeing the O.B desk across the waiting room. With babies and pregnant women everywhere!" How insensitive.

Do you have any advice or tips for others?

Get the medical care you deserve, and need, to keep your body healthy. If need be, TELL your Dr what YOU want in your healthcare. Stand up for what you feel and know about your own body. No one knows it like you do!

Above all, even though they (Dr's) may not believe the symptoms(because of your age perhaps) or problems you may be having PUT YOURSELF FIRST and get what you need to be healthy!

How has your spouse, SO or confidant been helpful to you in dealing with POF.

The man in my life has been very supportive regarding my POF. I was Dx'd before he came into my life but he's getting more familier with the Dx and comfortable with the issue. When I'm having a tough day he makes a point of being extra patient with me and understanding.

How does he or she deal with POF?

He really doesn't talk about it much but he does ask questions when he doesn't understand something about the different aspects of POF. He makes a point of becoming more comfortable with the issue himself so when it does come up he's more uninhibited about the subject.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Support Support Support! There has to be a place for a person to turn and get unconditional love and support from someone they love during the rough times of adjustment and also on the days where they are having a bad day.

Like said before, get the medical care you need and deserve to keep yourself healthy.

And remember just POF happened to fall on our shoulders......we AREN'T failures!