KsherKid's Story
August 2002

Share a brief summary about yourself, how POF changed your life.

I was an "early bloomer" I started having periods at 11 years of age. There was always a saying when I was young that the younger you started, the older you would be when you went into menopause. Who knew? My periods were alway heavy and very irregular so by the time I was 22, I started on the pill, just to regulate my periods. And I stayed on the pill until I was 38.

When I was 27, I was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. The doctor could not figure out why I kept having recurrent pelvic infections. All they knew was I had some kind of naturally occuring bacteria that had gone bad. I actually wanted to go off the pill at that point, but the doctor told me to stay on them and it would decrease the chances of infection.

I used to think I never wanted kids. Then I met my husband in 1997 and that all changed. We wanted a family and started trying right away for children. I went through some painful tests and surgery to remove some fibroids that had grown. I never went back on the pill after the surgery and began to have regular periods for the first time in my life. My husband and I tried for a year and a half to get pregnant. My periods started getting heavier and I thought maybe I was actually more fertile! Then, in October 2000, the periods just stopped. When I was a few weeks late for my period, I took a home test and got a positive reading. We were so excited! I had the HCG test drawn the next morning and went to see my doctor the following day. He was almost as excited as us! But then he read the test result---negative. I was becoming very tired, nauseated, and my bones were aching so bad, I couldn't lift my arm off the bed. I was waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. At that point I just wanted to know what was wrong with me. So, he ordered a hormone panel with the official diagnosis of infertility

How did your health care provider tell you about your diagnosis?

My doctor called me two days later and told me I was in Premature Ovarian Failure. I asked him what that meant and he explained that my ovaries weren't working and I was in perimenopause! I asked what my chances were of getting pregnant and he said---"not too good". We cried on the phone together and he referred me to an Ob/Gyn specializing in menopause.

Do you have any advice or tips for others?

You have come to the right place for information and support. Knowledge is power so find out all you can about your diagnosis, including any other medical problems that you have. Sometimes the two are interrelated.

How has your spouse, SO or confidant been helpful to you in dealing with POF.

My husband was content to live child free as long as we were together. He cried with me the night I was diagnosed and has been at my side every step of the way. Our choices to start a family were mutual---if the child was not 100% biologically ours---we would adopt or remain child free.

How does he or she deal with POF?

He is very up front with people. If he ever gets the questions of "when are you going to have kids?, etc" he tells them it's none of their business. If anyone is rude with me---he is right there to defend me.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Mourn your loss. Being diagnosed with POF is a loss and should be grieved. But just like any other loss, you will learn to move beyond the grief. It will take some time, but you will learn that living with POF doesn't have to be the end of the world. Rather, it is the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life. It can be quite a rollercoaster ride, but hang on tightly and you will make it through.

And for those of you who are religious

"Pray fervently and God will give you the desires of your heart."

We now have two beautiful boys through foster adoption, and a third one will be with us in another month. Our prayers to have a family were answered. God will answer--it's just that sometimes, it's not the answer you were expecting.