Lia's Story
August 2002

Share a brief summary about yourself, how POF changed your life.

Well when I was 14 my periods suddenly stopped. Ithought that they were just irregular and not to worry about it. I went along with some friends to a family planning clinic to go on the pill and of course was asked questions about my periods and told I would have to have a blood test. After this one blood test I was told by the family planning doctor that I'd had an early menopause and would never be able to concieve. I thought my world had just ended and was extremely scared about telling my mum. Instead of arranging some support for me I was told just to go home and tell my gp.

How did your health care provider tell you about your diagnosis?

I evetually blurted the diagnosis out to my mum who took me to my local gp in disbelief. He ordered more tests and put me on hrt immediately as well as organising an appointment with a gynae concultant at the local hospital. He made a few insensitive comments like 'at least you haven't had to have periods for a while, most women would be grateful' etc but I think this was just due to his lack of understanding of women and POF. The consultant was brilliant but I did see a locum who examined me which was awful. I didn't understand what he was going to do and found it extremely uncomfortable and upsetting.

Do you have any advice or tips for others?

I think that the health professional that gives you the diagnosis should also offer information about counselling and support groups. I was originally told by my GP not to bother wih support groups but I have found them extremely helpful especially CHILD and this one. I still haven't managed to find a counsellor that specialises in infertility in my area but I will keep trying.

How has your spouse, SO or confidant been helpful to you in dealing with POF.

My parents didn't understand at all. Seemed to think Iwas making a fuss for nothing and attention seeking. For example I didn't want to continue with my babysitting commitments for my mum's friends as I found it painful to be around children, but she thought it was me being lazy. Gradually after me opening up to her and her trusting me more she has begun to understand more.

I met my boyfriend about 6 months after the diagnosis and I told him right from the start. I fed him as much information as I could so that he really understood and gave him the choice of whether to stay or not and we are still together 4 years later. He is extremely supportive and feels it is OUR problem rather than MY problem which stops me feeling quite so alone in this.

Friends try to understand and I feel that I can talk to them if I need but I try to avoid it knowing that they do not fully understand.

My mother-in-law is a story in itself!

How does he or she deal with POF?

My boyfriend seems to just see everything life positively. Although this is probably healthy I do worry that he might be denying the extent of the problem a little but maybe it is just that I am to realistic?

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Information has been the best release for me although I do think there is a point in your life where you have to say 'right I am going to enjoy life for a while and try not to think about it' otherwise everything in life becomes overshadowed by it. This is hard to do but some days I manage it which I think keeps me sane. I have remind my self that I am only 20 and look at what my friends are into.